


The Greatest Pain

by gokusPrincess014



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Romance, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2016-07-30
Packaged: 2018-07-27 16:23:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7625515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gokusPrincess014/pseuds/gokusPrincess014
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No mother or father would ever want to be in a situation wherein he or she would have to helplessly witness his or her child suffer, and no mother or father could ever be prepared for his or her child's death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Greatest Pain

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own DBZ and its characters.

**"Goku..."**

"Huh?" Goku replied softly as he half opened his eyes. He blinked a few times before opening them fully to check on his surroundings.

"Goku, it's getting late. You must get some rest too." 

He turned towards the person who spoke and saw Bulla, her eyes full of concern. Then he turned towards the bed, where a three year old girl lay sleeping. The child had an intravenous fluid hooked to one arm while another bag filled with medicine was hooked to the child's other arm. Goku realized that he had fallen asleep while watching over the child. 

"I'll be the one to take charge here for now. You need to get some sleep, or you will get sick as well." Bulla spoke again as she sat on the chair beside Goku. 

"I can't..." He replied in a soft voice.

"Goku, you have to. I know we're going through a tough time, but we also have to think of ourselves.." Bulla said softly as she took his hand in hers.

Goku looked at the sleeping child. "I have to make sure that she's all right.." He said, his voice breaking as tears began to form in his eyes.

Bulla noticed his tears and sighed. Since he had learned that he had a child with her and that their child diagnosed of a chronic and deadly disease, he insisted on having the child admitted at the hospital and always staying by her side. No one could blame him though, he never knew he had another child until she told him and at the same time, he learns that his third child is dying because of a disease.

"Goku.. She is just fine. Look. Her breathing has returned to normal and she is now sleeping peacefully. You have nothing to worry about... For now..." Bulla said as she rubbed his hand.

Goku looked at her, his tears now escaping from his eyes. "For now. I have nothing to worry about... For now. Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

Bulla shook her head softly as she cupped his face and rubbed his cheeks, trying to wipe his tears away. "Gokuu... You're crying again. I told you.. Rikku is just fine...-"

"Fine?! You call that fine?" Goku nearly yelled as he eyed back his sleeping daughter. "She is not doing fine, Bulla, because if she is, then I wouldn't have her admitted here in the first place." He said as more tears spilled down his face.

Bulla said nothing, instead she pulled the crying man into a hug as she wrapped her slender arms around him. Goku buried his face in her chest and cried, his tears now leaking on her shirt.

"Gokuuu..." Bulla whimpered as her voice started to break while rubbing his back. She hated it when someone cried, especially if it's because of her daughter. Tears started forming in her eyes as well as she held the crying Saiyan close.

"You know... Everyday I keep asking why.. Why did all of this have to happen? Why her... Why my daughter.. Why not me? I just met her recently, and we have just known each other for... For such a short time. And then what? I learn that she is dying because of a disease.. A disease that I think she got from me. Do you know how.. How painful it is for me, Bulla? To think that the child that I just met could die and leave me again anytime soon.. I'm not blaming you for not telling me about her at an earlier time... I understand why you did that.. But why did it have to be this way? Why did she have to be sick?" Goku said in an anguished voice as his words dissolved into tears. He held on tightly to her and clutched her shirt in his hands as he cried profusely. 

"Goku... I have been asking that to myself as well. Why not me instead? You know.. Sometimes, I do think that this is the way that I'm being punished because of my sins. You're still married to Chichi when I conceived Rikku, and... And even though I chose not to tell you about it after I found out that I was going to have your child, still, I committed a sin. Because you were married. We weren't supposed to be together in the first place..." Bulla said as her tears fell down her cheeks as well.

Goku held her by her shoulders. "If this is anyone's fault... I.. I think it's mine, Bulla." He told her.

"I have a fault too. I chose to have a relationship with you even if you were married.." Bulla whimpered as she cried.

Goku pulled her close. "No.. I.. I'm not blaming you for everything. It's my fault because... Because the truth is, I never felt even the slightest bit of guilt after committing such a sin." He said, startling Bulla. When she did not speak, he continued.

"I was happy.. With whatever we had. In fact, there were some days when I thought of just disappearing and taking you with me so we can finally be together, but everytime I would think of that, I always reminded myself that I am still married to Chichi, and we have a family together. But Bulla..." He paused as new sets of tears flowed down his cheeks. "I treasured every single moment that we spent, I always looked forward to every meeting that we had, because.. Because I felt happy whenever I'm with you. I loved you.. That's why when I found out from Bulma that you suddenly left, I was torn.. I was heartbroken, for days and months I tried to search for you, and every night... Every night, I cried myself to sleep because it hurt me so much when you suddenly left without even saying goodbye and without a trace.. And it's so difficult, Bulla. Even if I never did divorce Chichi until she died, I never forgot about you, I always thought of you every single moment... And I even longed for the day when you will finally return and I will see you once more. And that's what pains me... Because I was supposed to feel guilty.. I cheated on my wife, I fooled around behind her back, and yet I feel no guilt, but only love for the woman whom I technically cheated with..." He said, his voice full of emotion as he spoke.

Bulla could not believe what she heard. Seeing Goku now in such an agonizing state made her heart melt and ache with love. Yes, after all these years, she still loved him. Him and no one else.

"Oh, Goku.." She muttered as she threw her arms around him once more. He returned her hug and wrapped his arms around her as well, pulling her close to him as he kissed her hair.

"I love you Bulla.. And that would never change. That's why when you returned and I found out that I had a child with you, I was so happy, and I hoped that now... Now I could start a family with you. But all my hopes were crushed when I found out about my child... Our child, suffering from the same sickness I had almost twenty years ago. Everything I did... Every sin I committed, they all came back to me... And I couldn't help but think.. Is this the way I'm being punished for everything? By making one of my children suffer and letting me be a witness to it? I'd gladly take on any kind of suffering, if it's the only way I can pay for my sins. But... Not my child.. I can endure any pain... But.. But not the pain of watching helplessly while my child suffers... It doesn't have to be this way... She is just a child, she doesn't have to be the one to... To atone for my sins... " He said as he sobbed and buried his face in her hair, his tears leaking on her head.

"Gokuuu... Goku please... Please don't blame yourself..." Bulla tried to pacify him as he cried and sobs racked his body. His sobs are too heartbreaking, and she could not stand seeing him like that. He looked like a defeated and broken man, far from the Goku whom everyone knew, and it hurt her. It hurt her so much to see him in that state.

"Everytime I see her... I keep asking myself. Why her? She's so young... There's still a lot in store for her. Why not me instead? At least I'm old.. And I've lived my life... But my daughter.... It shouldn't be this way..." Goku said in a pained voice as he continued to cry and tightened his arms around her, as if he never wanted to let her go. Bulla held him as she cried herself, her small hands rubbing his back. For a while, they just stayed like that, crying while holding on to each other, as soft sobbing sounds filled the room.

The long beeping sound of the machine monitoring their daughter's heartbeat startled them both, and they instantly turned their attention towards the machine. Goku felt as if he had been stabbed in the chest when he saw that the machine displayed a flatline.

"Nurse! Nurse! Please help us! Please! Somebody help my daughter!" Bulla screamed frantically, tears falling down her cheeks as she opened the door and ran towards the nurses' station, calling the attention of all the medical staff currently staying in that particular hospital floor where their daughter's room was situated.

Doctors and nurses came rushing towards the child's room at once, armed with medicines and appropriate equipment to be used for such an emergency. Bulla ran back towards the room and saw Goku in hysterics, crying like a helpless child as he watched his daughter being revived before his very eyes. She ran towards him and wrapped her arms around him at once.

"Please... Baby... Don't leave me! We're still going fishing, right? I promised you that... So please! Please wake up! Please... Please...." He cried out as he tried to free himself from her grasp so he could hug his poor daughter. Bulla hugged him tighter as she buried her face in his neck, her tears falling as she cried silently. The moment that she had been dreading for a long time had come, and there is nothing she could do about it.,

"Time of death, 11:50 PM." One of the doctors said.

"No!!!!!" Goku screamed as he managed to release himself from Bulla's hold and flung himself towards his daughter's lifeless body. The nurses and doctors watched him sadly as he hugged his daughter and cried.

"Please.. Please do something. My daughter is not dead. S-She can't die... Please.." He pleaded, heavy tears flowing down his cheeks as he looked at one of the doctors, who shook her head sadly.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Son. We did everything we could but... But she couldn't be revived anymore. We didn't use the defibrillator because she's displaying a flatline, only medications could be given to restore her heartbeat, but even after five doses, she still displayed a flatline. I'm really sorry, we're sorry but we can't do something anymore.." The doctor explained as she and the other medical staff quietly left the room to give them a private moment to grieve. 

"No.... My baby...." Goku shook his head as more tears fell down his face and landed on his daughter's still form. Sobs racked his body as he pulled his daughter in a tight hug. "No..." 

Bulla approached him and hugged his trembling form. She wrapped her arms around his waist from behind and buried her face in his back, her tears running down her face and wetting her cheeks as she cried silently over her daughter's death. Since the day Rikku had been diagnosed of having the heart virus similar to the one her father had many years ago, Bulla had already thought of the possibility of her daughter dying from it one day, that's why she braced herself for it no matter how hard it is to do so. But then she discovered that no matter how she prepares herself for that dreadful event, she would never, ever be able to accept what happened, because no parent would ever be prepared for his or her child's death.

The room's atmosphere became filled with gloom at once, their sobbing sounds filling the room and breaking the dreadful silence as they both cried over their painful loss.

 **Moments** later, both of them sat on the couch near the bed, where their lifeless daughter lay down. Goku had his arms wrapped around Bulla, tears still falling from his eyes as he held the younger woman whose arms were also wrapped around him and had her face buried in his chest as she cried silently herself. Their daughter lay peacefully on the bed, and Goku watched as two nurses removed the contraptions and equipments attached to his daughter's body. The room was quiet, save for the few sounds of Bulla's sobs breaking the silence.

He saw the nurses wrap his daughter's body in a white blanket, and he closed his eyes tightly as more tears fell from his eyes. His daughter is truly gone, and there is nothing they both could do about it. The two nurses left quietly after they finished dressing the little girl's body and once more, the bereaved parents were left to grieve by themselves. 

"W-We have to make arrangements.." Goku spoke in a soft, broken voice as he swallowed the lump in his throat. 

Bulla clutched his shirt tightly in her small hands as she shook her head and cried. "No.. I.. I don't think I can bear to see her in a...-" Her words dissolved into tears and Goku held her tighter as he rubbed her back softly. 

"I... I know... But we have to... It's.. It's the least we.. I could do.. For her. I.. I want to give my daughter a proper and decent funeral.. And.. And I'm willing to pay any expense. It's the least I could do for a child whom... Whom I never got to be with and to take care of..." Goku said, tears leaking from his eyes. 

Bulla could feel his pain as he spoke his every word and it made her cry more, because she didn't want to see him in such a broken state. She knew he was trying to be strong, but she also knew that he was crushed and devastated because of what happened. It was their daughter who died. At least she had been able to spend time with their child, unlike him, who only got to know about his daughter now. He and the child had been given such a short time, and even though Rikku had acknowledged him as her father, most of the time, the child was asleep, so Goku never got to talk to her that long nor spend some quality time with her. She knew how painful that was for Goku, especially after hearing everything he had confessed awhile ago. 

She leaned against him, her cheek pressing against his broad chest while tears still fell from her eyes. Her arms remained wrapped around him as they sat there, holding each other while trying to digest the fact that someone they both loved very much is now gone. 

"Goku..."

"Mmm?"

"I'm sorry..." Bulla said in a soft voice. 

Goku tightened his arms around her. "Hmm? Sorry for what?" He asked. 

"I have been selfish. I could have introduced Rikku to you earlier so... So at least you could have spent some time with her.. I never thought of the fact that life is short.. And.. And even the ones whom we love most could go and leave us anytime. You know, I can't help but think that... Maybe if I introduced her to you earlier, things would have been better.. Maybe she never would have had that disease, or even if she had it... Maybe we would be able to find a way to cure her of it because... Because we would be aware of its existence even if only the earliest symptom of it manifested in her. But I became so selfish. I thought only of myself. And I have been over confident that I can do everything on my own, that I can support her treatment on my own. There were times that I wanted to introduce her to you but my pride always came in the way.. Because I was so hurt when... When you didn't leave Chichi before even if you promised me that you would do it... I was so angry with you, Goku. I admit, I was selfish, because I thought of only myself. Of course she is your wife, you can't just leave her for somebody else. My selfishness made me decide not to introduce Rikku to you. And... And now I paid the ultimate price for it.." Bulla said as she cried once more.

Goku didn't say a word. He just held Bulla close to him as he pondered on everything that she said. Finally, he spoke.

"Bulla, I never blamed you for everything, and you must also know that never will I blame you, ever. It's your call if you decided before not to introduce my daughter to me, because I know that I have a fault myself. I had been selfish as well. I made promises to you before but I didn't even make an effort to fulfill them because I always dwelt on the fact that you would always stay with me. But I had been proven wrong after you suddenly left. That's when I realized everything. I made you suffer in a way, because I made you my mistress. I made you count on things which I myself am not sure if I could do. You don't deserve everything I did to you.. Yet I did them because I was scared to lose you, but in a way, I also didn't want to lose Chichi. When you were gone, all I ever wanted was to find you so that I could ask for your forgiveness and... And tell you that we can finally be together.. Because only then did I realize how important you are to me. I could do everything... And give up everything for you. But... But it's too late. Because you're already gone. But I was once again given a chance.. And I was so happy to find out that we had a daughter. I was ready to give you both everything, to make it all up to you... But... But all my hopes were crushed when I found out about her disease. And now... Now she's gone. But.... But I'm not losing hope, Bulla. I'm not losing hope that... That it's not yet too late to make it all up to you. Our daughter maybe gone, and I will forever mourn because of that... But Bulla... You are back... And you are once again here with me, in my arms. You know, in a way I'm thankful to our daughter... Because... Because I owe her one. She might have left us, but she brought you back to me once more..." Goku said, tears escaping his eyes as he hugged Bulla tighter.

"Oh.. Gokuuu..." Bulla whimpered as she cried and buried her face in his chest.

"I love you... Very much." He said emotionally as he continued to hold her." 

"I love you too, Goku... I love you too... Bulla answered in between her tears. 


End file.
